BoneTown is a game that combines adult themes and adult humor with action, sex, and adventure. The free roaming game makes liberal use of irreverent and crude subject matter, and all parts of its gameplay and storyline are infused with the game’s signature profane comedy. The game also includes mature themes, such as sexual activity and the use of illicit substances. Players can even acquire real life, live action adult content screening in the BoneTown Theater, movies are creatively incorporated into the game and made available to players only after they have completed the new missions.

In Bonetown it's all about fighting, fucking and getting fucked up. Sounds like an awesome place.

• exploring thirteen full levels - more to be added soon, as addon packs and the next one is free.
• meeting tens of thousands of unique characters
• fighting with over 50 distinct weapons
• gaining new "magical" powers fueled by drugs
  
• participating in numerous competitions
  
• experiencing new, exciting sexual positions
  
• enjoying over 250 songs from new and established artists
  
• pleasure lots of lovely ladies along the way
  
• following a dynamic storyline to save BoneTown from the forces of evil

Technically, Bonetown doesn't measure up to the quality of GTA or most mainstream games, but almost, and it's not really fair to judge it in that market. I've played a number of 3D sex games and trust me - Bonetown is leagues ahead of most of them. The production values overall are very good and there are even some big names like Ron Jeremy thrown in the mix.

Bonetown doesn't stop at sex and drugs. There's plenty of tongue-in-cheek racial stereotyping as well. My favorite boss so far is the fire breathing rabbi.

When you knock someone out you can steal their identity. This basically takes their clothing, accessories and characteristic sex patter and slaps it on your skinny frame. Adds a nice touch of variety. Some of the characters reset your stats though - didn't quite figure out the logic behind that one. It's good to save first.

Bonetown is definitely a game for adults and DDub is very clear about this on their site. Sex is one of the primary game mechanics and it's pretty graphic. You can't progress without porking half the population. This ain't no Leisure Suit Larry or Playboy mansion game. It's more akin to interactive porn.

Basically the story starts off with you waking up on Missionary Beach courtesy of a golden shower from a local drunk frat boy. Afterwards a “hot” chick named Candy approaches you and gives you a brief tour of how “Bonetown” is played. Shortly after the verbal tour, I was treated to an unintentionally humorous sex scene with her which was suddenly interrupted by a Men in Black extra. Candy then explains that the suit works for “The Man”, and they are trying to take over Bonetown. Then she gets arrested and I get a warning.

Shortly after the scene with Candy, I’m introduced to Uzi, a Jewish Redneck. Like the drunk, he swears constantly and starts talking about “The Man”. Once he’s finished with his ranting, he gives me a magic potion “made by the pubic hairs of King Soloman” which allows me to steal other people’s identities.

So what is this game exactly? Think “Leisure Suit Larry” and “Grand Theft Auto,”. The game is played in third person, so you can get a better view of the action, as you roam around the streets of Bonetown, venturing into such districts as “Firm Wood Forest,” the aforementioned “Missionary Beach,” and “Gabacho Heights.” Like “GTA,” you go around the areas looking for things to do, or if you want, have sex with chicks and beat-up random guys with various blunt objects. The main deal with the game is your “ball size”.

The concept of porking fatties in the beginning and working my way up to hot chicks was hilarious. The sex games involve adjusting the speed and power meter to match the girls. At first you will probably be awful, but then you’ll get the hang of it. You need to have sex, as it can increase your ball size or heal you.

There are ways to improve your fighting: you can use drugs that you buy/find to give you special powers. For example, alcohol will give you bigger balls, and shrooms will give you a shield. There are also special powers throughout the game that are obtained by fighting bosses such as Jesus, a fire-breathing Rabbi, Dildo Man, and latin superhero Agua Man. Weapons like the Chinese man’s camera or the Jew’s candle holder can be found by defeating these bosses, or by grabbing items dropped by common enemies.

The best thing that I can say about the game is the character graphics are pretty impressive. The character models and art design are surprisingly well done. They have this cartoonish caricature look to them, and can be somewhat charming.

Why are all the chicks turning me down?

Each chick has a level from 1 to 10. In order to get with a chick you must have balls equal or greater than her level. You can increase your max ball size by completing the missions. You can increase your balls by boning hookers or lower level chicks, drinking whiskey or beer, and aquiring better outfits. In order to bone a chick in her ass you must have balls 3 times her level.

I won't give away any of the secrets but there is enough in this game to offend everyone. Bonetown is by far the funniest game I've played, and game mechanics are pretty much identical to GTA. Its humour and writing are alot like Borat or Ali-G - frankly if you dont think that missions like ridding a Jewish trailer park of pygmies or retrieving the sacred chicken wing of black jesus is more funny than every joke in GTA put together, I don't understand.

I was pretty pumped to try the latest 3D sex game to hit the net. The buzz on Bonetown was ripe and the preview videos were very promising. How can can you go wrong with a game starring legendary porn star Ron Jeremy? He doesn't lend his name and likeness to just anything does he?. Like the bastard child of Grand Theft Auto and Sexvilla 2, Bonetown warmed up my screen with an enticingly rendered vixen, promising carnal delights to come.

Always one for a quickie, I started out in the fast fuck "fantasy" mode. My studly character was quickly strutting about in an elaborate whorehouse that resembled the lobby of a fancy Vegas casino. Scantily dressed women lounged around on couches and were receptive to pretty much any kind of sexual favor I was looking for.

The onscreen heads-up-display was a bit cryptic though. It took me a while to figure out that the little puckery thing was an anus! I thought it was half a grapefruit and we were going to have a nice breakfast reading the paper. Whoops - sorry honey!

I managed to get laid quickly but before I figured out the sex controls it was all over. My new fuck friend rated my performance as "horrible!". Guess I need a bit more tutoring in the controls of local love. Perhaps I would do better in the actual game ...

The Main Event

I woke up on a sandy beach under a warm trickling shower. The golden spray turned out to be a local boozehound relieving himself while muttering about "giant jellyfish". After this rude awakening I was greeted by Candy, a sexy beach bimbo with a toothpick waist who proceeded to give me head. In between slurps I was treated to a verbal tour of Bonetown basics.

It seems this game is all about the balls. You start out with a tiny sack and work your way up to cajones grande. At first you'll be lucky to get action from even the chubbier chicks (which I personally prefer anyway) but as your balls balloon the finer girls of Bonetown will all be hungry for your cockmeat sandwich. Eventually you can pork your way up to beach bimbos, supermodels and pretty much any cute cheerleader walking down the street.

By the time Candy was riding my flagpole I was getting the rhythm of the pleasuring interface. A pearl necklace later we were basking in post-coital bliss when a neckless hulk in black showed up out of nowhere. Apparently "The Man" had been watching from the bushes (ooo .. voyeurism!). He dropped a downer on the whole affair by arresting Candy and laying a guilt trip on me. I made a note to watch for twitchy bushes when treating myself to public poontang in the future.

I strutted onto the main strip, eager to rumble and start building my ball power!

Before long I met a nice Jewish hillbilly. He gave me a magic potion made from King Solomon's pubic hairs. Ummm - good! Apparently this potent elixir gave me the power to steal someone's identity. A drink that was sure to come in handy at some point.

I wandered onto the dock and kicked some rasta ass for the fun of it. I was rewarded with a bag of weed which told me I could jump higher by smoking it. Bolstered with confidence I sparked up a fatty and looked for my next conquest. I picked on a skinny dude who proceeded to kick my newbie ass and steal my clothes! I had similar luck with a Japanese tourist who belted me with his camera and left me in desperate need of a little health (and morale) boost.

Candy had told me that getting my dick sucked was a good way to restore my health (beats powerups!). I flagged down a passing BBW and spouted some love poetry on her: "Damn, bitch you got some great dick sucking lips!" and "I know you want to give me a blowjob". For some reason I didn't get anywhere with this sweet talk. I needed look a bit harder for the "charm" button.

Eventually I completed my first mission which involved helping out a crack whore. I was rewarded with a "gummer" where she removed her false teeth before swallowing my rod. Mmmm ... good! This got my balls growing and I was able to bed down one of the Walmart whales for a quickie in the park. Then it was time to tackle "dances with pink elephants" - a stereotypical Indian who hung out in the tennis court with his hooch. Kind of a mini-boss who's special power was tossing broken wine bottles at my head.

I didn't get far enough yet to see the promised Ron Jeremy but I do plan to pork my way through the game at my own pace. I did play enough to know that Bonetown is indeed a fun and arousing game to play and I'm looking forward to logging lots more hours in it.

Aftermath

Bonetown is a refreshingly spunktastic ride in a sea of thank-you-maam 3D sex games. The first truly successful blend of open world gaming and stimulating sex play. The graphics are cartoony but raunchy enough to put a tent in your pants. The music is great, the dialog is funny and the overall production values are top notch. I did find the HUD a bit cryptic and there isn't a lot of documentation other than a quick reference page, but the forums are very helpfull.

Fans of GTA style games will miss the standard ability to jack cars and create some driving mayhem, but that's not really what this game is about. The ultimate focus is on the three F's: fucking, fighting and getting fucked up. There are drugs galore, ranging from dime bags of dope to mushrooms and magical whisky. Bonetown doesn't care about ratings or getting banned off the shelf for "hot coffee" moments. It boldly embraces the taboos of sex and drugs in a fun to play fuck fest that satisfies on multiple levels.

A ton of fun and well worth the price. Get it before it's banned!